A Nightmare Dressed Like a Daydream
by gapeach22
Summary: AU- Mellie marries Big Gerry, her older law professor, instead of Fitz. Now, twenty years later, he is dead, and she is a widow, who has decided to live life on her terms. Then, one day, she meets Jake Ballard, a much younger man, and decides to have a "good time" with him. But, what happens she decides to invite him into her world where everyone isn't too keen on accepting him.


Three years earlier…

Mellie tiptoes to the baroque door that leads into her husband's study and gently knocks on the mahogany-colored wood. Once again, like much of their marriage, she was on the outside, waiting for him while he was on the inside focusing on anything but their marriage and their family. One knock. No response. Another knock. Still no response. She turns the freshly polished, gold doorknobs and tries to open the door quietly. Despite her best efforts, the hinges squeak, and she drops her head in defeat.

"Mellie," growls Big Gerry without looking up from his stack of exams. "Do you need something?" He places one exam in a folder and picks up another one. Marking and highlighting as he reads it.

"Yes," she whispers without looking up. She stares at the carpet for a few seconds and notices a few brown spots. She rubs the stain with her heel and notices how fibers are stiff and matted together. "Have you been drinking in here again?" She asks in a low tone.

"Mellie," he exhales. He removes his reading glasses and massages the bridge of his nose. "What do you need?" he asks in harsher tone this time. He tosses his glasses onto the desk. "I have stack of 26 exams to grade _and _an opening argument to write for the Johnson case before morning. I don't have time to play games." He leans back in his leather chair and stares at her. "Again I ask…what do you need?"

"Umm…" Mellie clears her throat and looks at Big Gerry. She smoothes the nonexistent wrinkles of her dress. "I wanted to see...ask if you wanted anything particular for dinner…tonight." She tiptoes towards him and studies his face in hopes that it will hint to what he was thinking.

Gerry picks up his glasses and puts them back on. "Not really. I will leave that up to you and Lauren. Just no salads…or anything with soy…or a name I can't pronounce."

"Oh…I-" she replies as she sits on the edge his oak desk. "I sent Lauren home hours ago. She looked tired. I was thinking that I could cook dinner, and we could have a romantic night in…just the two of us. It's been a long time since we…" her voice trails off when she notices that he is no longer listening. He's writing a comment in the margin of the paper. In his head, their conversation was over. She takes a deep breath and plasters on a fake smile like she's done a million time before. "Ok…that doesn't sound too hard to do. I can make lasagna. You used to love it back when we were dating." She rubs the nonexistent wrinkles out her dress once again and adjusts her pearl necklace. "It should be ready in an hour or two." She leans down and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I love you," she whispers into his ear. She stands and waits for him to repeat it back, but he doesn't.

After waiting for a few more seconds, she leaves with watery eyes and a slight burn in the back of her throat. As she walks out of the study, she looks around one last time. She notices a row of old family photos sitting on the mantel, and a tiny pang of hurt spreads throughout her chest. Most are color photos of Big Gerry with Fitz at fundraisers…family parties…and the lake house. Then there is one, a black and white photo, in the very back. Without thinking, she walks over and grabs it off the mantel. It's a photo of her and Gerry immediately after Teddy's birth. She looks at it, and is surprised by how happy they look…before everything changed. Before they lost Teddy…and before Big Gerry became a monster…

_"Ok…Mrs. Grant, I need on more big push!" screams the doctor as he scoots closer to help with the delivery. "You can do it…"_

_Mellie's head falls onto Big Gerry shoulder, and she tries her best to sit back up. "I can't," she murmurs as her eyes begin to close. "I'm too tired. I need a break." _

_"It's just one push, Mellie B_

_ear." He pushes her wet bangs away from her forehead and kisses her. "You can do this…I promise." He squeezes her hand and gives her one of his famous lopsided smiles. _

_"No, it's been forty-three hours. I'm done. I can't do this anymore." She speaks in a hurried breath. She rubs her belly and cringes when she feels another contraction coming. "Make it stop please! Please make it stop!" she screams. "I can't take it anymore…" She closes her eyes and tries to imagine herself somewhere else. _

_"Yes, you can!" Big Gerry lays his hand on top of hers and stares at her bulging belly. "All we need is one more push, and our little Teddy will be here." He gives her a quick kiss. "…and you won't even remember this. You can do this…I promise. I'm not leaving until you do…"_

_"I can do this," she whispers back. "I can do this…" She sits back and grabs Gerry's hand. _

_"Yes, you can…" he affirms. "I'm going to count to three, and when I hit three, give me your best push." Mellie takes a deep breath and nods her head. "1…2…3" Mellie pushes as hard as she can. "I can see his head…and it's full of dark hair." _

_"It's a boy," announces the doctor as he pumps Teddy's nose. "Here you go, Mr. and Mrs. Grant." He lays Teddy on Mellie's chest and watches as the new family bond. _

_"He's so tiny," murmurs Mellie as she plays with his little fingers. _

_"Yes, he is," agrees Big Gerry. "He has your nose, you know…and my ears." He kisses her temple once again. "I love you, and I am so happy that you are my wife."_

_"Me too…" _

_"…and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you…and Teddy…and Fitz…and Karen."_

_"Karen?" questions Mellie. "Who is Karen?" _

_"Our daughter." He says confidently. "I have to have little girl to spoil. It's a universal rule. The way I see it is that Fitz is going to be my model son and will carry on the Grant name. Teddy will be the black sheep and defy me at every turn. Last but not least, there will be Karen, my precious baby girl, who does no wrong, and will forever be the apple of my eye." He slowly grabs Teddy from Mellie's arms and cradles him. "Isn't that right, my little rebel?" _

_"Well, that's sounds like the perfect family…except for one thing. Who says I'm getting pregnant again?" she asks jokingly. _

_He leans in closer and whispers into her ear. "Me…as soon as the doctor clears you, and I am going to take you home…lock you in our bedroom…and fuck you until you are without a doubt with our second child." _

_"Ok…we'll see," smiles Mellie as she leans in closer and kisses him. At first, it's slow and gently…a quick peck. Then, it deepens. He parts his lips, and she parts her's. Before long, their tongues are dueling…thrashing about…and groans begin to fill the room. _

_"Hey…" interrupts the doctor. "Stop it, you two….that's what got you in here in the first place."_

Three hours and two bottles of wine later, Mellie stared at her beautifully prepared table and waited for Big Gerry to join her. She takes another sip of her wine and glances down her silver watch. "_I can't believe him._" She thinks to herself. She finishes her glass of wine and storms down the hallway towards his office. She opens the door without knocking.

"Gerry!" she screams as tears begin to stream down her face. "I can't do this anymore. _I_ _am_ _tired_! You promised me things we would change. You said that you do better…be better if I came back. But, things aren't better Gerry, and I want out. I am done."

"Mellie," huffs Big Gerry as he leans back in his chair. "Stop with the dramatics. We both know that you're not leaving me." He stands from his desk and walks towards her. "We made a vow. For better…for worse. For richer…for poorer." He states flatly. "I have stood by in the darkest of times. For ten years, I held all of the walls of our house up. For ten years, I was at your beck and call. I missed Fitz's graduation because _you _decided to kill yourself by mixing hooch and painkillers…"

"…and I have stood by you. If you knew what I have done to get you where you are. I forgave you for things that hurt me to my core. Every year, while you were in the governor's mansion, I had to smile when asked questions about Teddy's death. I had to pretend to be okay…"

He laughs. How dare she goes there? "..a death that you caused!"

Mellie stood in front Gerry and stared at him. She wanted to hit him, but her body wouldn't move. There it was…the elephant in the room that they had ignored for the past fourteen years. The truth was out.

"I made a vow, and I have every intention of keeping it. We are in this hell together, _Mellie Bear_, until death do us part." He places his hands around her face. "..and that is the only way you are getting out of this."

"Well, I hope you hurry up and die…" She quickly turns around and hurries out the room. She slams the heavy door, and as it closes, the photos on the edge of the mantel fall.

Three days later…

Mellie sat outside of the emergency room and prayed that everything would fine. She pulled her knitted shrug a little tighter as she tried to forget the last few hours. But truth be told, she would never forget it. No one forgets a scene like that. The image of Big Gerry lying on the kitchen floor barely breathing will be forever etched into her memory.

"Mellie," called Fitz as he walked up and kneeled in front her. "Mellie…" He places his hands on knees and tries to focus her on him. "Look at me. You are in shock right know, and that is okay. But, I have to tell you something." He takes a deep breath. "Dad didn't make. He had a massive heart attack, and it was too late. The doctors did everything they could." He squeezes her knee and waits for her to respond. "Mellie did you hear me? Say something."

"I have to go. I can't do this right now." She grabs her purse from the chair beside her and walks towards elevator.

"Mellie…." calls Fitz in husky voice and for a moment she stops walking. His voice sounds just Gerry's. "Mellie come back." She ignores his plea and continues walking. She hurriedly presses the down button and is relieved when the doors finally open. She steps on. As the doors close, she falls to the floor and lets out the biggest sob. He was gone.

Present day…

As Fitz pulls into the driveway, Mellie puts the finishing touches onto his gift. She walks down to living room and places it on a beautifully decorated table. She takes one last look around and is thoroughly pleased. The party planner truly outdid herself this time. This was better than last year's party.

"Mrs. Grant," calls Lauren. "Fitz is here…and he brought a guest."

"Great." She answers as heads towards the foyer. "…and can you tell the caterers to start pouring champagne. I don't want the guests to wait more than a few minutes to be offered a drink."

"Yes ma'am. Will do."

Mellie walks into the foyer and smiles when she sees Fitz. At twenty-seven, he was the spitting image of Big Gerry. "Fitz, Happy Birthday." She smiles. "I'm so happy to see you. It's been awhile." She pulls him into a hug and squeezes him tightly.

"Yeah, I know. Between the navy and Olivia, I barely have any free time to make the trip up here. The house looks great by the way. Dad would have loved the renovations."

"Really? I thought that he would have hated them." She looks around the foyer and thinks about all of the changes that she's made. "Especially since they cost $3 million dollars." She jokes.

"Yeah…he would have hated that part." As they pull apart, she notices a younger man standing behind Fitz. "…and Mellie, I would like to introduce someone."

"Hi, I'm Jake…a Navy buddy of Fitz's from basic training." He extends his hand and waits for her to do the same.

"Hi, I'm Mellie. Fitz's stepmom from the last twenty years." She gives his hand a firm shake. "Nice to meet you."


End file.
